I think, actually, that that wasn’t for no reason. The fact that I’m blogging two days late, I mean.
I’ll tell you why.
I’m one of those people that would listen to Christmas music all year long if it was socially acceptable. Sometimes it’s one of the only things that cheers me up after a bad day, listening to a little Grobs or Nat King Cole or some fantastic compilation of mainstream holiday songs, even if it’s in the middle of, like, April :D
So you can imagine that when it actually gets around to that time of year, that something of an avid listener(:
Last year, I started listening to said music around the middle of October. It was the first Christmas I had in Swaziland, and I was, to say the least, emotional. Christmastime makes me pretty much a nostalgic wreck anyway, but the fact that I was away from home and missing my friends and family and all the traditions that I love so much made me all the more that way.
When I think about it, listening to music that early wasn’t exactly something I did to make me feel better, but something that sort of helped me feel sorry for myself. It sounds silly, and sometimes it was, but it was a way for me to get those shoved down tears out and to just kind of wallow in self pity for awhile, which can, in a way, make you feel better.
Yeah. I know. I’m pathetic. But I think that at least some of you know what I’m talking about. J
Last night, I broke out my beloved Christmas tunes once again. The tenth of November, rather than October. I shed some tears, but, for very different reasons.
I cried because of how amazingly good God is to me, and has been to me, year by year, Christmas by Christmas.
I thought about all the Christmases I could remember. The ones when I was a little girl and I couldn’t help from waking up at 4:30 to stare at the beautiful, beautiful tree glowing in the early morning darkness with my little brother, and the overflowing pile of presents underneath it. I thought about the ones in each house I’ve lived in, each special tradition we celebrated in different stages of our family’s life. I thought about that one Christmas where we had a fireplace, and a banister to wrap lights around, and how perfect it all seemed. I thought about that one, last year, where I swam, and we barbecued, and our tree was the top of a freaking aloe branch. And we were in AFRICA.
And then I stopped. And I thought about baby Jesus. Sweet, little, innocent baby Jesus.
I thought about that night he was born, and I thought about his life and his teachings, and I thought about his death and his resurrection and I thought about how he lives in my heart, and how the only reason I got to have any one of those Christmases, the only reason I have the amazing family that I have, and the traditions that we keep, the only reason we’ve been to the places we’ve been and done the things we’ve done is because he’s always been right there, in each of our hearts, and in the heart of our family.
And I thought about how amazing that is.
And I cried, and I mouthed the words to ‘O Holy Night’, and I took a deep breath, and I knew that this Christmas was going to be a good one. A great one. And I knew that, no matter what, no matter where I am on Christmas next year, or the year after, or EVER, that Jesus will be with me, and will be with our family.
Over and over I keep discovering this. That he’s always been there an he’ll never leave. And each time I do, it’s infinitely sweet. There’s no better feeling.
So that’s the reason I’m blogging late. I had to realize that again last night, and then share it with all of you. My prayer is that you discover this anew each Christmas and each day and all the time, and that you will not simply rest in that feeling but shout about it and share it and want it for others, and that I’ll be able to do that as well.
It’s not Christmas yet, but let’s all get into the spirit. And not the spirit of commercialism and Santa and blah blah blah, but the spirit of the fact that Jesus was born, and he died and is risen and that he lives in us.
Merry Christmas. (However early it may be[: )
Our beautiful aloe branch Christmas tree last year(:
No comments:
Post a Comment